I honestly believe most arguments are due to misunderstanding and miscommunication.
They shouldn’t happen at all, but we imagine the other person is thinking something they actually are not.
Because of this we must actively remind ourselves in that moment that our spouse is not trying to hurt us.
It is easy to get caught in an emotional state loop of anger or fear and allow that to continue by remembering past negative events of that person.
But as the man in the relationship, it is our job to control our emotional state.
When you are caught in this negative feedback loop, in your mind tell yourself you love your wife and that she loves you. Say this over and over.
Take a deep breath.
Hold back from saying the nasty remark that will only make it worse.
Do you want to be right? Or do you want your love and yourself to be happy?
Try to remind yourself of all the good things she does for you all the time because she loves you.
Once you are calm and she has calmed down, be the first to apologize. You are the master of emotions, you are captain of the relation-ship. As the man this is your privilege and your duty.
I’m sorry I upset you, I apologize for that and you know how much I love you.
She may come back with a remark that it is your fault or something worse.
But keep your cool, you are close to the finish.
Give her the first chance to vent.
After this comes the important part, figure out where it went wrong (without blaming her). Explain your thought process why what she said upset you.
Let her do the same.
Find the source of the miscommunication or misunderstanding.
At the beginning of relationships this is usually due to mistrust of the other in one partner’s imagination.
At the end she should also have apologized and you both understand each other better.
Sometimes an argument is the best thing that could have happened, because of what you learn about each other after going through it.
For guys in a new relationship: If your girlfriend is not willing to discuss why the argument happened even after she has calmed down and just expects you to take all responsibility without analysis, she is not ready for a real relationship and you should move on to someone new.